Miracles

There are in moments of absolute chaotic desperation when the entire world is spinning around that we are given quiet glimpses into heaven. The Spirit comes so forcibly to the heart and soul that even at most awful brink, when everything you care for feels like it is being torn away, that God shows his hand and calms the troubled heart and stills turbulent soul.

Yesterday at 3:00 Melissa’s upper stomach started to swell like a balloon being filled with helium. She was cramping and starting to pass out. With a miracle filled presence of mind, Melissa had me call our doctor in Boise who told us to call 911 and get her to the ER. We called and we went down to the lobby to meet them. The hotel staff at Homewood Suites met us on the way to the lobby. They were helpful and kind. Melissa started to swoon and pass out.

We got her to a chair trying to be careful of the drains and surgery sutures from her week ago procedure. She collapsed into the chair her eyes rolled back in her head and she sagged. I’m sure I yelled, “Melissa stay with me!” and shook her head. Again I yelled, “Melissa stay with me, don’t leave me.” I had begun to pray when we first called 911 and in my heart hadn’t stopped. Melissa opened her unfocused eyes and said, “I think I’m dying.” “Tell the children I love them.” “I love you.” Then she passed out again.

There is a country song “Don’t take the girl.” I must admit that at that moment I fell to me knees next to the chair and prayed out loud. I asked Heavenly Father to please not take Melissa from me. It was at that moment that God spoke in words to my mind to start calling people to get them praying.

I believe God is an accountant. He accrues our prayers and then amortizes them over our lives. I believe that he blesses us (sets up a receivable) and then we earn the blessing and pray for things. Sometimes we accrue for a blessing by proving our faith first. In that moment, I realized more deeply and more intimately how dependent I am on the Lord. How in debt I am.

I began calling. I called my Dad and crying so hard could barely tell him to pray for Melissa. Melissa passed out again and with my dad on the phone I began calling to her to stay with me. She opened her eyes and like a dazed child stared at me. I called Melissa’s mom and the same thing happened. My Mom. Melissa’s Dad. The Phillips. Craig Mullenbach. People at work. LDS, Baptist, Catholics, Jews, all of you. I reached out to all of you and you answered with your prayers and thoughts.

Then the second bolt of spiritual lightening tore through my clouded thoughts. “Give her a blessing.” The words were quiet but forcible and I did what I was told. With all the world watching I reached up and placed my hands on her head and kneeling at her side whispered a blessing in her unhearing ears. In the middle of the blessing her whole body sagged and I thought I was too late and that she was gone. But the words of the blessing that came to my mind and were uttered through whispered tears spoke of healing and life. To that precious thin strong cord I clung.

The ambulance came and for the next 8 ½ hours Melissa would slip in and out of conciseness. They ran tests. And by some miracle were able to clear the obstruction. The pain went away and Melissa came back to me.

Accounting wise many tender mercies were summed together. All those many small miracle, equaled the moving of a mountain. So many times in our lives Melissa and I have committed all that we are and have to Heavenly Father. I committed everything again. There isn’t anything he could ask me for that I wouldn’t and couldn’t give him. He chose to save Melissa, but if he hadn’t … he would still be God and I would still love him. In the great accounting of my life, I am in debt beyond measure. All that I have and all that I can ever achieve is due solely to him.

This week I have walked with God. When at the very depth of hell I stood and looked into an abyss that would swallow me. Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost provided the way for me to breathe. They and they alone snatched me back and kept me and held me in their spirit and sustained me.

In my Book of Mormon reading today ( I read to Melissa) we read about Alma at the Waters of Mormon and our baptismal covenant. It is this eternal binding of eternal family. Of comforting, mourning, rejoicing together, this eternal binding of the spirit that allowed your prayers to be the catalyst to allow God to act in His will and His time. But if not…it would have been right. It is these same prayers and binding that cause us to love and hold and care for each other. So that in my desperation. I thought of all of you. You are my saviors. Your feet are beautiful to me on Mount Zion. It is why even though I was physically alone here in New Orleans, I was not “alone”. God is with us.

Thank you all again and again for your thoughts and prayers. Please keep us there until we safely return home and even then pray for us as we pray for you. Bind yourselves to us as we bind ourselves to you. God bless you all.

Love,
Jesse